Ring of Fire - and It Burns Burns Burns

I'm a fan of the music of Johnny Cash.

This song has a different meaning to me than one might expect.  

This post has nothing to do with downsizing, or travel, or food allergies.

 This post is about the fact that I am not getting much done more days than I would like because of the impact of living life with a Ring of Fire.

 In January of 2012, an Oncology Nurse shared with me that I had made the decision to save my life by electing to have a bi-lateral mastectomy to remove breast cancer.  

An Oncology doctor later advised that I had dodged a bullet and didn't need chemo or radiation.

Happy Dance!

While I do not recall any medical professional advising me that I would be entering the world of chronic pain following surgery, perhaps one Doctor or Nurse did advise me of this possibility?  Perhaps they did not know I would soon be an unlucky member of the iron bra ring of fire club following surgery.



The tissue expansion and breast reconstruction process began in January and ended in September of 2012.  

I was often assured during the process, that once the tissue expanders were replaced with permanent implants, the pain would subside.

The burning sensation and sense of wearing an iron bra rolled in glass shards hasn't resolved.

It's steadily there.  I've adjusted to it's steadily being there.

Most mornings I mentally work on pain gating before we get out of bed, and this helps me to get on with the activities of the day.  Most days, I can engage in a life I enjoy.  Most days, the pain and I get along.


Recently, I decided to paint the walls on each side of the fireplace.   It was a small job.   I wanted to do it, and I made a good start.  My will is strong.  The burning ring of fire burned higher than my will.   Thankfully, a close friend finished the painting and it  looks great.


Recognizing that I am not capable of doing the same things I could do so easily before the surgery isn't happening.  Not quickly, not easily.

This past weekend and again about two weeks ago, the burning ring of fire around my rib cage kept me from fully engaging in life for a few days at a time.

The ring of fire is relentless and it burns, burns, burns.   Did I do too much?  Not enough exercise? Did I eat or drink something my body is allergic to?   Are the implants encapsulating?   It hurts too much to think it all through.

Yesterday I slept for most of the day.  I am thankful for an understanding spouse.  I am thankful I can sleep through most of the pain.  I wish I could sleep it off and not have the experience of this pain at all any more ever.

Today it Hurts.  To breathe, and to move.  Contact with clothing feels like wool over sunburned skin.

Today is a better day than yesterday.  I am ready for a reprieve from this burning ring of fire.  I'm feeling limited.  I get up to refill my coffee mug.  Every movement hurts.   My amazing husband pours me the coffee.
Is there an approach that will be effective so that I can get some things done today?   Ouch.   This is not my idea of taking a break!

I only want to find respite.  Oh, I want it All.  I also want to maintain clarity of thought.   Pain meds aren't kind to my thought processes.  I skip the meds and hope.

      I recall the Oncology Nurse's words - you saved your life and you don't have cancer any more.

I hope to get in a walk with my husband.  I hope the sun shines.  I hope to be distracted.

I hope it calms down to a tolerable level soon.

I hope.